Marriage: An Eternal Life Sentence

I never really got into dating like I assume most guys do. I met my wife when we were 16; we immediately fell in love, and we got married during our second semester of college. We've been married for six years now and we have two kids. Our relationship is great, we're best friends, and she's a very good wife and mother. (She's also extremely good at cooking, but by some miracle I am still thin.) We're happy together.

It gets kind of boring sometimes, though. I miss the the thrill of the chase. Our relationship in High School was exciting. I miss those early tingles of excitement, falling in love, and our first kiss. I miss making out for hours at a time and writing love notes. Given the choice between dating and being married, though, I'd definitely choose marriage. For all the highs of dating, there were just as many lows. Marriage is kind of level all the time, which is solid, safe, and predictable. I like predictable.

Although I went on a few token dates with other girls before I was married, in order to avoid steady-dating, these dates never went anywhere. I've never kissed any girl other than my wife. While this feeds my purity ethic really well, it also leaves me curious about how my life would be if I had dated around more before getting married. Is the grass really greener on the other side?

I should make it clear that I am not interested in leaving my wife or having an affair. For one thing, I've got very high standards for a mistress, which makes an opportunity for cheating unlikely. For example, one of my requirements is that she be younger than me, which automatically excludes all the women at work. There's no one in my social network right now who meets my eligibility criteria, so I think I am safe for now. I'd like to say that I'm simply immune to being attracted to other women, but let's face it, there's some point at which everyone would crack, myself included. In the mean time, I maintain a healthy respect of my own human weaknesses.

I used to have a fair number of female friends when I was a teenager. Not anymore. Outside of my family, I don't have any female friends. Not one. I understand this is a fairly common phenomenon for married Mormons. I miss the mixed-gender associations I used to have, though. I miss dating, laughing, flirting, or just having fun with girls. It made me feel happy and successful, especially when my wit was on and they would laugh at my jokes.

Given the alternatives, I think marriage is the best option. But sometimes it can feel like a life sentence. I miss being young and free. I'm only 25, but I feel much older.